By Alia Huzaidi (who is clearly not a debater)
Have you ever argued with a debater and walked away feeling like you just got outplayed in a game you didn’t even know you were playing? You’re not alone.
The other day, a friend—an experienced debater—was venting about how people in her debating circle always seem so sure of themselves. They manage to win arguments even when they’re spewing absolute nonsense. And honestly? I get it.
The most frustrating part of arguing with a debater isn’t the argument itself—it’s their sheer, unshakable audacity. They enter a discussion like they own the intellectual high ground, wielding words like a linguistic sorcerer.
The topic doesn’t even matter—politics, philosophy, or even which kuih raya reigns supreme (it’s tart nenas, and I will not be taking counter-arguments at this time). They will argue circles around you with the confidence of someone who’s never had to say, “I don’t know.”
And worst of all? They’ll win.
Arguing vs. Debating: The Key Differences
Here’s the thing: arguing and debating are two very different beasts. An argument is a passionate clash of opinions where facts might make an occasional guest appearance. A debate? That’s a full-fledged intellectual showdown where truth is often a mere background character.
If you ever find yourself up against a seasoned debater, congratulations—you’ve just challenged a gladiator to an arm-wrestling match. The outcome? Predictable.
Because here’s the secret: debates aren’t about who’s right. They’re about who can convince you they’re right. Skilled debaters understand that facts and statistics are optional. What truly matters is a persuasive, consistent narrative, as well as a delivery so strong that it deserves its own place on the big screens.
The Power of Persuasion: How Debaters Control the Narrative
Humans don’t make decisions based on raw data; they’re much more easily swayed by a well-placed quip than by a meticulously researched, statistically accurate info dump.
You could present peer-reviewed studies, charts, and empirical evidence, and a debater will still shut it all down, either with alternative research, a different take on what your numbers mean, or even simply a creative example that proves the opposite could be true.
Boom. Game over.
Debate isn’t about truth — it’s about theatre. It’s about rhetoric, and much like real-world politics, the person with the best rhetoric wins.
How Debaters Win: The Art of Verbal Acrobatics
And this is where debaters become truly infuriating. There is nothing more aggravating than watching your own words get scrutinised, repackaged, and thrown back at you in a way that makes you question your own sanity.
They don’t win by being right. They win by performing – with mental gymnastics, non-verbal theatrics as well as the occasional dramatic eyebrow raise.
All of these combine to make their points sound undeniable. Even if they don’t believe a single word of what they’re saying, they will die on that hill—not because the hill is worth defending, but because they enjoy engaging in rhetorical, intense, intellectual discourse.
This is why you can’t win against a debater. While you argue to defend what you believe in or what you think is right, debaters debate because they simply enjoy the sport – and they will do it over and over again.
Even when they lose, they still win.
How to Win an Argument Against a Debater
So what can you do? How do you survive a debate with someone whose greatest strength is making you doubt your own intelligence?
1. Recognize the Theatrics
Once you see through the performance, you’ll realize that half their “winning” strategy is just confidence mixed with well-timed rhetorical tricks. Take a deep breath. Don’t get swept up in the spectacle. Don’t get riled up.
2. Don’t Engage on Their Terms
If you let them set the rules, you’ve already lost. Shift the conversation back to substance and focus on creating your own strong narrative—make them answer and analyse your rhetoric in a fair and objective manner instead of spinning clever, nitpicky rebuttals.
3. Resist the Urge to ‘Win’
The moment you try to out-debate a debater, you’re toast. Instead, focus on clarity—say your piece, make your point, and walk away knowing that just because they sounded convincing doesn’t mean they were right.
You too can play the game, and you too can learn to enjoy debating for the intellectual sport that it is. Perhaps then, you can really put up a good fight.
And trust me, debaters could use the challenge.
